Life Advice
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Asking Eric: Brother’s partner mocks in-laws even after their deaths
Dear Eric: My parents immigrated after World War II, arriving with $20 and a lot of determination. They worked hard, built a home, a successful business and raised five kids who all went to college and had many more opportunities than they did. Both of our parents passed away a few years ago and I miss them dearly.
One of my brothers has a long...Read more
Daughter Upset That Childhood Bedroom Got Repurposed
DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter graduated from college a few months ago. She got her first career job and decided to move out. I advised her to stay at my home a while longer and use the opportunity to save some money, but she wanted to be on her own, so I supported her decision. Recently, I decided that I might use her bedroom as a sewing space. I ...Read more
Generous Friends Duped By Knockoff
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My signature perfume is a well-known -- and expensive -- classic scent. For my last birthday I received not one, but two generous gifts of this perfume: one from a dear lifetime friend and another from a beloved cousin. Both live a long distance from me; we rarely meet face to face.
The problem is, both were knockoffs. I know...Read more
Facing Christmas With an Aching Heart
Dear Annie: Though I'm young, I often feel as if I'm living the life of someone much older. This past year, many brewing family crises collided between March and April.
One relative passed away from a condition we all knew about, but the loss still hit hard. Around the same time, my father lost our family home, and we were evicted in March, ...Read more
Young Adult Living His Best Life In Parents' Home
DEAR ABBY: Our 20-year-old son works full time and lives with us. He doesn't do any household chores or pay us anything, not even his car insurance (which he agreed to pay). He then moved his girlfriend in, and after that a dog, without permission. He has anxiety and depression issues, which he thinks he's treating with marijuana.
When we try ...Read more
Asking Eric: After a birthday with no greetings, letter writer feels miserable
Dear Eric: I'm the first to recognize we live in a different world than 20 or 25 years ago. That is to say everything seems to have become so fast-paced; everyone is always busy, no time for anything, expectations of instant gratification.
Is it becoming more commonplace to forgo what was once common practice? Recently, a close (immediate) ...Read more
New Boyfriend Is Too Attached To His Phone
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently started dating someone who's great in almost every way, but there's one issue that's starting to bother me: He's constantly on his phone when we're together. Whether we're out to dinner or watching a movie, he's always scrolling through social media or checking work emails. When I bring it up, he insists he's just ...Read more
Psa: Not Everyone Has To Be Married
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I got married at an early age, but the marital bliss was short-lived as my wife died a few years later. That was 20 years ago, and I have since built a new, happy life for myself.
In this new life, I have never had any desire to embark on another long-term relationship, let alone remarry. I enjoy being on my own, although I ...Read more
Seeking Light After Years of Hurt
Dear Annie: I don't understand why people see me as a threat. I have no devious plans or intentions. I've never been in a fight. Throughout my life, I've been bullied -- from elementary school all the way through college -- by the same girl. Despite everything, I've always tried to help others. I feed the homeless, even though I am homeless ...Read more
Man Wonders Why He's Stayed In Marriage So Long
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 38 years. We have three adult children and four grandchildren. I have always wondered whether I have stayed in the marriage out of obligation and/or because I got a young woman pregnant. I have on many occasions asked myself if I should have ended it and continued on with my life after the first child was born....Read more
Millennial Life: A Season That Will Not Slow Down Unless We Do
The emails started early this year, alongside the creep of holiday decor where fat Santas pushed skeletons off the endcaps so fast that the turkeys just waddled back to the clearance aisles. Those emails all carried that corporate form, interlaced with out-of-office alerts and the familiar refrain of "Let's circle back after the holidays."
It's...Read more
Asking Eric: Messy housemate gives host silent treatment
Dear Eric: I allowed the daughter of a cousin, with whom I am not close, to move in with me while she finishes college. When she moved in last January it was supposed to be for a semester, but this is the longest semester I have ever seen.
We had an incident where she left gobs of hair all over my bathroom, which I had to clean up. I told her ...Read more
Co-Worker's Personal Struggles Impacting Her Job
DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my co-workers has had a lot of personal stuff on her plate lately. I am always an advocate for work-life balance, because no matter what, you should always take care of yourself (mentally, physically, spiritually, personally -- whatever that looks like). Normally, she goes above and beyond for the team, so I wanted to ...Read more
Does Holding Hands Negate Washing Them?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: At several gatherings with friends and family, the food is blessed by holding hands during a prayer -- after I have already washed mine in preparation for eating.
Holding hands defeats the purpose of washing them, but I don't know how to avoid it during the prayer. Refraining from holding hands, or immediately rewashing right...Read more
Grateful Today and Always
Dear Readers: Thanksgiving has a way of sneaking up on us, doesn't it? One minute we're rushing through the year, taking the kids to games and meeting deadlines, and the next we're standing over turkey and wondering how the year flew by so fast. But beneath the noise of the dinner table and all the pie crusts, this day gives us something rare:...Read more
Husband Invites Son To Be A Third Wheel On Couple's Trip
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I married 20 years ago. We have a blended family of eight kids, but it's just us now. Our kids are scattered across the country. Over all these 20 years, we have never taken a vacation just for us. We have always visited family.
Now, after scrimping, saving and planning, our dream trip is finally happening. We are ...Read more
Single File: Core Questions (Part 2)
All right, moving right along to continue the findings of that exploratory survey you began last time here in "Single File":
--Do you expect to have sex on the first date? (About 76 percent of women said no; 6.7 percent said yes; 13.8 percent said sometimes. As for men, 15.1 percent said yes; 75.6 percent said no; 9.3 percent said sometimes.)
...Read more
Asking Eric: Baking favor leads to salty feelings
Dear Eric: My daughter-in-law's mother asked my girlfriend to make a dessert for another daughter's bridal shower. My girlfriend made a tray of lemon bars, so it wasn't a huge undertaking for her.
The issue is that my girlfriend was not invited to the shower. She never charges people for when she makes desserts since she loves to bake. Are we ...Read more
Body-Shaming Comments Hurt Friendship
DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend has always made comments about my weight, saying that I'm too skinny and that I should eat more. At first, I tried to laugh it off or change the subject, but over time, it started to really bother me. I have felt self-conscious and frustrated, but I didn't know how to tell her how hurtful her remarks were.
I'm not sure...Read more
Open Floor Plan A Little Too Open
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My home has an open floor plan with the kitchen, living room and dining area all combined. This leads to guests meandering through the kitchen area while we're preparing food.
No approach I have used has been successful to deter this. How do I approach my dear aunt at Thanksgiving, who is a repeat offender? She hovers over ...Read more
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