Paul Zeise: Pirates just need to stop talking and start spending

PITTSBURGH — I hate to sound like cynical Yinzer media hack, but excuse me if I am not selling what the Pirates are currently trying to sell about how they are going to "operate differently" and spend money this offseason.

This current talking points — both directly from the horse's mouth and through leaks via some of their favored national baseball media shills — has been one of the more fascinating studies in creating a narrative that I can ever remember.

First we had respected national baseball writers Jeff Passan and Ken Rosenthal reporting that the Pirates have a desire to spend money and are getting in on free agent players like Josh Naylor (to whom it has since been reported they never offered a contract) and Kyle Schwarber, a guy who hit 56 home runs and is estimated to command somewhere in the neighborhood of $30 million a year.

That was clearly spin and finding friendly media types to leak stories out there. Heck, they did such a good job of spinning that into positive PR, I would suggest whoever in the Pirates organization is responsible for these leaks apply for a job in Washington D.C. because our current elected officials could use a hand in creating positive press.

But that wasn't bad enough. On Tuesday we had Pirates president Travis Williams tell Jason Mackey this:

"Talk is cheap. We can't just talk about it. We can't just try. We've got to execute. We know that. That's much of the work being done in the offseason."

Williams is right, of course, talk is cheap. And so is Bob Nutting, which is why this whole narrative about spending more money and going after prime free agents this offseason is so ridiculous.

We have heard all of this drivel before, and it is usually followed by nonsensical stories about how they were this close to landing a guy, but he went somewhere else.

The Pirates lead the world of professional sports in "number of guys they are rumored to be in on and never land" by a wide margin. About the only team that is in their category is the Steelers with respect to signing or trading for a wide receiver these last two years. But the good news is Brandon Aiyuk is apparently available again.

All of that just missing out on big names is usually followed by a dumpster dive for someone like Andrew Heaney in an attempt to hit lightning in a bottle while paying someone $12 an hour.

I have to admit I have fallen for some of this stuff before, but to quote The Who (sort of), I won't get fooled again. I will also happily write a column explaining how wrong I was when the Pirates turn in a payroll that is legitimately $100 million-plus.

Let's start with this stuff about Schwarber and dissect how dumb it actually is. Schwarber, according to experts who follow these sorts of things, is estimated to sign a four or five-year deal worth between $120 and $150 million.

That might even be a little conservative, but let's go with those numbers, which means Schwarber is every bit of a $30 million per year player.

I am supposed to believe the Pirates, who have been trying to get Mitch Keller's $16.5 million off the books according to some of these same writers and sources, are going to go out and sign a $30 million player?

Come on, man.

I would say to anyone reporting the Pirates are seriously in on Schwarber what Mike Tomlin once said: "Never say never, but never."

The Pirates aren't going to pay Schwarber, or anyone — including Paul Skenes — $30 million a year. If you believe they are, well, I have the deed to both the Fort Pitt Tunnel and Fort Pitt Bridge and I will sell them both to you for a discount.

I credit Williams for being the one willing to stick his neck out on behalf of Nutting, but all of this talk about wanting to be "aggressive" and "spending more money" is just coming off as a lot of hot air.

I don't blame Williams, as it is his job to put a happy face on things, but at some point there has to be a measure of reality tossed into this discussion. The Pirates have never operated in any manner other than to find a way to save every nickel possible, and at this point I am not sure why they are talking like they are going to.

Lucy can only pull the football away from Charlie Brown so many times before even he catches on and stops falling for it. I am usually willing to take the wait-and-see approach, but the Pirates have officially lost the ability to command that from me.

I will be pleasantly surprised if I am wrong, but we all know where this is going.

And no, moving Keller and Bryan Reynolds and anyone else who makes more than minimum wage off the payroll and then replacing them doesn't count.

The Pirates need a catcher, a shortstop, a third baseman and at least one if not two outfielders in order to be competitive. That's assuming Oneil Cruz, Nick Gonzales and Spencer Horwitz are all capable of improving to a level at which they at least seem capable of playing.

I don't need to see Jack Suwinski, any of the 19 catchers they seem to have on their roster, Jared Triolo, or any of the plethora of Quad-A players they run out there every day.

You want to tell me you have Suwinski on the bench to come in late in games and perhaps run into one? OK, I will live with it. Same with Triolo as a very good defensive replacement late in games.

Just don't come out of spring training with those guys in the everyday starting eight ,and don't resign Tommy Pham and act like it is some sort of high-level free agent signing. I don't need to see any more scrap-heap pitchers whose best case is they catch lightning in a bottle for three months and are a trade chip at the deadline.

The Pirates have a reasonably good starting pitching staff, but that is contingent on them keeping Keller around, too. That seems to be questionable, as well, and when they take him out of the rotation, I like it a lot less.

I am rooting for the Pirates, and I hope this is an offseason like none other as they are claiming it will be. And as I wrote, if we get to March and the spring training roster looks a lot different than it does going into just about every other spring training of the last 30 years, I will be the first to eat crow and admit I am wrong.

I'm not wrong, though, and so I will sit patiently through this winter and shake my head when the roster additions are a bunch of cheap veterans nobody else particularly wanted.

I want so badly to believe Williams and Co., I just have seen this movie way too many times. The ending never changes and is always a big letdown.

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